Truthless and Ruthless

I feel old today.
The ache in my bones that feels ordinary as I age
has turned angry creating a physical and emotional limp.

That which makes me feel energized is gone.
The hope for a brighter, much brighter future in my lifetime
which has naively sustained me
no longer burns.

However delusional I have been, I am no longer.

Neither me nor my children will see the hungry fed.
Or the homeless housed.
Or the despised loved.

I will go forward
looking to the sunlight and ignoring all around me,
as I have done for nearly sixty years.
Except now I know that in my remaining years
that is all that awaits me.

I will do my part to find peace in my meditation.
I will do my part to help others as I have always done.
But the notion that someday my good works will be done
and the world will be better as a whole
is
extinguished.

I am not surprised that is true.
I am surprised that it has knocked me on the head so ruthlessly.