Marathon

Before I know who did this,

I try to summon up forgiveness,

Like it is a requirement for me to breathe.

But my gut wrenches and my mind envisions the smiling faces of each one of my children when each was just eight years old,

In the same way people say that your whole life flashes before you just before you die,

because a small part of me, as man, as a citizen, as a human and as a father died today.

And my pain, part of humankind crying out in despair and agony

Is a pittance of pain compared to those who knew the child,

A smidge of the hurt compared to those who knew the adult,

A mere scare to those who were there to experience the explosion

Which they will hear for days and days on end.

A finish line so far from the start and so far from the hope that finishing offered.

I will never run a marathon,

But I will never forget this one.

The shock of remembering what we all know

As we start each day

That we are never safe

And yet we wake up everyday and

Run

Run to the light

Run to hope

Run to love

Knowing that the risk is that while forgiveness is required to breathe,

Caution is now our new collective tattoo,

And we don’t know,

I don’t know,

If it looks good at all on me.